Okay. I have to practice. I have to make sure every part of me is perfect. All I need is to have a decent conversation with someone, and then I won’t be alone. The dread of being an outsider in a place of promised comfort long shadowed my every move, and echoed the successes and opportunities I have encountered throughout my life. Whether I had committed a social misstep or achieved something noteworthy, the apprehension of being evaluated outweighed any self-courage I had to

A letter to who I was years ago or maybe to who I will be, from my teenage self. While I write this to reflect on how much I’ve changed, I also write this to show to myself in one, two, or three years in the future. Every year, I look back and realize I haven’t actually changed that much. Admittedly, my memory isn’t the best, but every year, I always feel like I have the same opinions, the same standards, and for the most part, the same friends. I don’t necessarily reject cha