From Isolation to Interaction

Okay. I have to practice. I have to make sure every part of me is perfect. All I need is to have a decent conversation with someone, and then I won’t be alone.

The dread of being an outsider in a place of promised comfort long shadowed my every move, and echoed the successes and opportunities I have encountered throughout my life. Whether I had committed a social misstep or achieved something noteworthy, the apprehension of being evaluated outweighed any self-courage I had to initiate something as trivial as a conversation. No matter how often I tried, I would mess up a sentence or forget a line. I was never the type of person to be an articulate speaker; constantly fabricated excuses to justified my lack of speech. It was always, “Who cares? I don't need anyone anyways.” These excuses were my way of guarding myself, neglecting the fact that I would rather have been isolated than judged. All this changed, however, when I joined the Helping Hearts Club. There, I discovered that connecting with my peers wasn't as challenging as I once thought, provided I was willing to take small steps outside of my comfort zone. Each meeting was an opportunity to get to know the others and work towards a shared goal.  It was taking one step closer to comfortably talking to someone. Each uncertain interaction revealed a less critical, more receptive world, gradually freeing me from the once fearsome place of discomfort.